What Do You Want?

I've been struggling with finding the time to blog over the past few weeks because my brain has been overtaken with the privileged yet overwhelming phenomenon known as analysis paralysis. This happens when you have several options or pathways in front of you with no one standing out more than the other. Knowing you have to pick a path soon, but not sure which one to begin following creates an overwhelming sense of fear- specifically a fear of failing. (or at least for an over thinker like me!)

I then realized that instead of having these jumbled thoughts in my head, why not write them down (and I guess share them publicly too...). I am hoping that by sharing my post-grad, early professional career confusion, that it resonates with some of you. If you are feeling these feelings right now, I'm with you! And if you've made it through this stage, congrats (I'm jealous)- but also please feel free to send any words of wisdom or advice my way!

"You really want to do that?"

I currently feel like I am hearing about all of these opportunities, all of the jobs I would be good for, and mixed opinions of what I should do when I complete my internship. You'd think amidst all of these thoughts and opinions that one would resonate with me, but I am left more confused. Just to add some spice, I have landed on a few career pathways I resonate with and as soon as I mention them, external opinions-"Is it lucrative?", "You really want to do that?", "That would be good for maybe a year", "That has a high turnover but it's your decision"- begin to flood in.

ThE WoRlD Is YoUr OyStEr

The world is my oyster, but just as there are over 200 species of oysters (according to google), which oyster do I pick! Sticking with the oyster analogy- which oyster would be the best tasting for me? Or would have the biggest pearl? They all currently look somewhat the same on the outside, just as my job options do, however you only can find out the size of the pearl or how much you would really enjoy the career until you metaphorically break open the shell (try out the job).

So... what do you want?

I had a very inspiring chat the other day to which the business professional I was speaking with left me with four simple words as her question for me to reflect on- "What do you want?". My immediate reaction was WHAT DO I WANT??? GIRL IM TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT BY TALKING TO YOU!!! HELP!!!! To which later turned into hours of journalling, and this posts creation- what do I want? What do I want my day to day to look like? What do I want to do in my post-work time? What do I want my office space to feel like? What do I want my ideal work hours to be? What do I want to become an expert at? There were so many considerations all stemming from this simple question.

This question also shut out that noise I mentioned earlier. The external input, and public opinions. It may sound selfish, but when you break it down to who would be working 40 hours a week in that career... YOU... then who's opinion matters the most?

Finding The Pearl

After deep self exploration with finding what I want as the fuel- I have narrowed down my current career aspirations to two sectors (trust me, two is better than the 10 I had last week). Now, two isn't one- but it allows me to optimize my time by diving in to informational interviews with individuals in these areas, researching companies that align with my wants, starting to envision my life working in options a and b. After reflecting on what I want (for my life, career, etc.), it allowed me to find a job that aligned best with that rather than me altering my dream for the 9-5.

Now it's time- time for me to open my oyster and see if it has a pearl. I can only do that by trying, which I am actively applying and seeking opportunities to begin on that exploration. As I have been transparent about my career journey, I will update you on when I find the job that I choose to pursue. Until then, I will keep learning, and reflecting, and listening to myself.

P.S. Ironically I hate eating oysters, but gosh those little guys make good metaphors